Manal’s 100 word challenge (homework)

At midnight,i raced up to the hill,so that i could search for any danger.Soon, i saw a black figure ,wings as sharp as a knife, soaring above me.I panicked.What was it?Why is it here?I ran as fast as i could,but it was too late.The black figure was crashing houses turning the houses into rubble.Its wings were beating rapidly high in the sky ,while my village people were trying to escape.Above the houses,the furious beast (the black figure) was spreading fire , as hot as lava, on all the houses.I could smell smoke.Is this the last time i can see my village…

 

 

 

5 Comments

  1. lujane says:

    Well done Manal it was really good ,but you could put some questions in .

  2. jugraj says:

    I really like you sentence openers

  3. katie5 says:

    star: you have described every thing amazingly well and added even more detail than needed.
    wish: At the start you used great sentence openers then when it continued you started to use I ITS THE constantly and just ended your perfect writing.

    AT the end you left the readers confused so that is great to.

  4. Doa says:

    Hi Manal
    Star- I really like that you have used rhetorical questions. It makes me think about it.
    Star 2- I like that you have used brackets.
    Wish- You could use subordinating conjunctions.For example,
    Although it was a dark night, I could see a black figure.

  5. Manal says:

    Edited story:

    At midnight,I raced up to a hill so I could spot for any danger.Although it was a dark night,I soon spotted a black figure ,wings as sharp as a knife, soaring past me.I panicked.What was it?Why is it here?I ran as fast as I could,but it was too late.If I didn’t wait till the black figure went, then I could have have saved my village.What will happen next?Beating its wings rappedly above me,it spread out fire, as hot as larva, on all the houses.Running away from the furious beast (the black figure),the villagers ran.Soon the figure left.I saw rubble,after the figure burned the people’s homes.Is this the last time I can see my village.

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