The Chronicles Of Narnia – The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe

As the pure, white snow tumbled from the clear, blue sky, the four children stepped into a magical land and ran towards tall fir trees covered in crystal clear sprinkles…

Lucy had been to a wondrous world! She had stepped through the wardrobe walked towards a lampost as black as the night sky, had tea with a faun and had a wonderful tea of cake, toast and sardines. Yet her brothers and sister didn’t believe that she had fell through a wardrobe and entered a magical land stayed there for hours and came out when they were still just leaving the room with her! Lucy felt very upset when later on they all went to see if Narnia was there, but they found the back of the oak wood wardrobe. as they left the room once more watery shields of sadness appeared over Lucy’s eyes. For the next few days Lucy was filled with sadness and wouldn’t play,but yet did she know what would happen on the next rainy day…

8 Comments

  1. hana1 says:

    Fabulous work Faith ! I especially like your first sentence and how you have added colour to draw in the reader . EXELLENT words and adjectives, too!

    1. hana1 says:

      You have used the word “tea” twice . Just remember to make things and events clear to the reader.

  2. isha2 says:

    I really like your your beginning and the range of sentence types you have used.

  3. manal says:

    Faith this is a wonderful paragraph!

    Improve:
    Next time add full stops so I don’t run out of breath.

  4. katie5 says:

    faith your work is amazing but you should check your work for capital letters and spellings but every thing else is good.

  5. faith4dt says:

    I have noticed that I have used tea twice and it doesn’t quite make sense.

    Correction:
    She had stepped through a wardrobe, walked towards a lampost as black as the night sky,had tea with a faun. With a cup of tea Lucy had cake toast and sardines.

  6. hira says:

    WOW! faith brilliant work 1 of your sentences do need improving here is one improved sentences she had a warm cup of tea and a slice of scrumptious cake also with them lots of food she had toast and sardines!!

  7. satam says:

    Well done Faith .

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