The terrifying forest

I walked into the terrifying,dark, creepy mestirious forest. They were crows with sharp pointy beak. His feathers were ripped. Also i saw lots of trees. The  leaves were burnt  and they were also twisted together. I then heard a  bang! my ears were shaking like a rattle then i saw terrorfiying creature for 4 seconds then i calapsed my heart was beating like a basedrum a few seconds later i fainted .

 

 

4 Comments

  1. omar6w says:

    Great work Sufian. But mestirious is spelt mysterious.

  2. Miss Durcan says:

    Well done Sufian! I’m really impressed with your writing. You have chosen some excellent vocabulary to create a creepy atmosphere for the reader. I also like the image that you have created with a simile e.g. ‘my heart was beating like a basedrum’.
    To make it more interesting for the reader, could you change your final (quite long) sentence? I’d love to see it re-written with some different time connectives.

  3. sufian6w says:

    Ok miss try harder I just had a headache that day and I Could not concentrate I will try harder next time.

  4. kyle6w says:

    Hi Sufian. That’s nice! Even I couldn’t have written that.

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