The Hooded Figures

”Jack…No… dont leave me!” Screamed Rose.

”It’s ok Rose…I’ll be back in a bit.” Replied Jack.

I was now in the dark,gloomy tunnel. It got damper and damper the further I crawled. There was cob webs everywhere.

After 4 minutes of crawling, I found the exit. I then found myself in a dark,eerie forest, I was terrified.

I heard a crunch of a twig, I then ran as fast as a cheetah. I heard a laugh of a wicked witch behind me. I was very scared.

Devistated,terrified,puzzled I ran as fast as I could, I heard loud footsteps behind me. Suddenly…I stopped … I turned around and there was… two hooded figures they both shouted ”you can not leave this realm!” (they said it in sync)

”B…b…but I just want to go home…please!”

I tried to run ,but I couldn’t move at all.

After 10 minutes I heard some footsteps behind me. The person ,who was behind me was Rose. As soon as she saw me she burst into tears. Rose swung her arms around me.

I felt my body getting warmer. After 5 minutes I was back to normal. As we ran back to the tunnel it felt like the trees were trying to grab me.

The next day I said to Rose ”Dont tell anyone what happened…ok.”

”ok.” Whispered Rose nervously. As I got int class my teacher said ”Today we will have two new visitors.”

The two new people came in… I thought I remembered there face’s… It was the two people in the forest!…




  1. Mrs Jacques says:

    My favourite part is when the ‘trees were trying to grab’ – as a reader it gave me such a clear picture. Re-read now and think about where you have used ‘there was’ – is this the correct tense?

    1. rhys6a says:

      Thank you very much I appreciate it.

      1. clare71 says:

        Wow !!, what an amazing, thrilling, story Rhys. Keep up the good work ( you make me so proud ) … mum 🙂

  2. kian6a says:

    WOW! Rhys thats great your an excellent writer.

  3. shraaz16a says:

    Really good. Keep it up!

  4. Miss White says:

    A great piece of writing. You have used some great effects to create lots of suspense. So much so, that I may share this with my class, as we are learning to create suspense in our writing. Well done!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *