100 word challenge

In the middle of a thunder storm stood a dark, spooky castle lifted high on the crumbling cliffs.In the castle there was a vampire and some trapped,cute bunnies ,whose kingdom was ruled by the blood-sucking vampire.The vampire had a 2-metre swimming pool , which he was swimming in everyday.The next day when he went to swim he saw the chlore broken because of a surprising,heroic cat , who was scratching the plastic pipe, so instead of sucking the water it let green water out.After  the bunnies escaped but had no where to go. Will they escape the castle and the terrifying,horrifying vampire???

8 Comments

  1. kian6a says:

    Wow yunis that’s brilliant I wish I could do that.

    1. yunis6w says:

      Thanks Kian!

  2. Mrs Tucker (100WC Team) says:

    Hi, thank you for entering the 100WC this week, so far there are just under 1000 entries.
    What I like about your writing…
    You have opened your story with a very powerful, descriptive phrase. This will make your readers want to read on.
    You also have experimented with the use of commas in lists and to mark clauses, well done.
    What I would love to see next time…
    When you have finished writing, read your story out loud to a friend and check that it makes sense and flows for your readers.
    Keep writing! 🙂
    Mrs Tucker
    100WC Team
    Wirral
    UK

    1. yunis6w says:

      Thank you for your comment and I will next time read it out to one of my friends

  3. molly6a says:

    That is a great piece of writing!

    1. yunis6w says:

      well thank you molly

  4. Jackie 100WC says:

    OOh Yunis, I’m not really into vampires, but I’ve enjoyed the vision of a spooky castle with a swimming pool. (Have you measured two metres? He must be a small vampire.) You used the word chlore – I think you meant claw, but considering that pools need CHLOrine to stop them from going green, I think there’s a little unintended cleverness here!
    Do read all your work aloud before you publish won’t you. Writers often hear changes that need be made, but don’t see them.
    I look forward to reading more of your work Yunis.
    Jackie

    1. yunis6w says:

      I feel so happy right now thank you for you wonderful comment

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